There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hippo gnu deer
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
