Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
that is very illegal...i love you.
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