She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
