That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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