exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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