I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
