Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
