His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
