I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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