Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
