you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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