Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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