also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
