im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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