woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Everyone says I win the strip club
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
