my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
