oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
