I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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