Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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