We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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