I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
