I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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