I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
