My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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