Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
