I met the friendliest cop last night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
