does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
