So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
