I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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