Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
