Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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