My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
