You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
