What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
