Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
