Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
