can u get pink eye on your cock?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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