we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
