i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
