Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
