TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Randomize
