This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
