Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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