I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
