doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
