we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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