shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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