You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
