Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How does one acquire holy water?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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