i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
