well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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